Friday, May 13, 2011

Long distance relationships

This is kind-ah a long post but I felt it was important to share with people who could be going through the same thing. 
so here it goes. I have been in a long distant relationship for 3 year. I'm getting married this June. So i'm so super excited to finally be reunited. I haven't seen him in person since Christmas. We have had our highs and lows with the distance but let me tell you it is Possible. Don't let people discourage you. The distance will strength the relationship as long as you both put in equal effort. I will give you a few tips that helped us. Trust, patience, schedualing and a lot of prayer is what helped us get through the three years.
Schedual
Ok, I know this might seem strange but if you both know each other's scheduled. It will make it easier to know what the other is doing. Knowing the right time to call and talk to one another is always best so you don't annoy the other. Another thing is to inform the other how the next day will go. That way there will be no surprises or worries, if he or she doesn't call at 3am or 9 pm to talk... Especially if he is living in a different time zone than you. Scheduling talk time Should be number one priority....
Communication
So even though we talked all the time, before the distance. Our communications skills really sucked and we didn't even notice. The long distance opened our eyes to some major holes in the way one another was understanding and comprehending the message.
Here I a good example 
I was saying.... I love you babe.... and he was saying..... Babe If there is anything you need just call me..... I started wondering Why the hell is the boy saying crap like that, instead of just say..... I love you back. I began to feel like maybe he didn't love me as much as I loved him. Well, that is just his way of communicating that he loved me and that he wanted to provide for me. We both meant the same thing but said it in different ways.
So, remember that men don't comprehend feeling and express themselves the same way we do. So whenever there is an argument or a misunderstanding be patient with one another and trust that they mean the best. Always be open minded to one another belifes and know that you might not always agree but you should always agree that you disagree on a topic. Basically agree to disagree....

We were not able to visit each other often, do to lack of funds on both ends. Goggle talk, Skype, and other online video chat websites makes the distance much more easier to bare. My fiance and I live on Skype. Skype give you the option to share screens so you can shop online, watch a movies or a favorite show online and even workout together. The sky is the limit. So use the these websites to do things together. Do things online together helps you spend good quality time. lack of activity with one another could put strain on the relationship. Could not saying would....

Hope your still with me here...LOL. I'm almost done blabbing.
 
Trust & Patience 
It was hard for me to trust that he was not going to find another hot chick and fall in love with her. I was thousands of miles away but he constantly assured me that I was the only one for him. It comforted my insecurities. My past experiences made me feel as though I could not trust him but I discussed it with him openly, giving him my whole heart. He was patient with me and understanding. this might not be your situation but trusting can make or break a long distance relationship.

God as the Center
Lastly I wanted to say prayer. I don't know If you know and love the lord but my finance and I study the bible together and pray together. Their is nothing wrong with praying about the relationship and ask God to guide the both of you. We made sure that God was the center, the glue that kept us together. So as we got to know God more we also got to know each other. 
Well I'm done now. i hope this helped and may God continue to bless your relationship...

3 comments:

  1. This is a wonderful and insightful post! I wish you the best of luck with everything! And I believe with my whole heart, that with God, anything is possible. Keep the fait, and I pray that the Lord will continue to bless you and your fiance (soon to be hubby!) :)

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  2. Hey Girl! I can so relate to this, I have been in a long distance relationship for 5 years and the last time I saw my bf was in January. WE are getting married in June too. You are so right about everything you posted. Communication and Trust is the most important elements in making a long distance relationship work. If one of those things is lacking then you are going to have major problems. you two look great together congratulations on finding your soul mate :D

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  3. Congratulations! I am happy for you. Good advice too!

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